Demi Lovato found a safe space to share more details about the events that led up to and followed her 2018 drug overdose. The Sorry Not Sorry songstress appeared on the Ellen Show on Thursday, March 5, where she spoke about the “control” from her old team that encouraged her eating disorder and her near-fatal overdose. “I’ve lived a life for the past six years that I felt wasn’t my own,” the 27-year-old told the talk show host. “I struggled hard with an eating disorder, yes, that was my primary problem, and then it turned into other things.”
Demi revealed that her team would take all things containing sugars, even fruit, out of dressing rooms. One of her biggest accomplishments came in August, when she was finally able to enjoy a real birthday cake, versus the “watermelon cake” she was served for past celebrations.
“For many years I didn’t have a birthday cake, I had a watermelon cake. So for years I did that and it kinda became this ongoing joke, but I really wanted a birthday cake,” she shared. “This year when I turned 27, Scooter Braun my manager gave me the best birthday cake. I remember crying because I was finally eating cake, with a manager who didn’t want anything from me and that loved me for who I am and supported my journey.”
Now, the Confident singer can proudly celebrate overcoming her disorder. Unfortunately, the issue spiraled and was a factor of her relapse. “I realized that overtime as the things with the eating disorder were getting bad. My bulimia got bad. I would ask for help and didn’t receive the help that I needed,” she said as she got emotional. “Here I am sober, but I’m thinking to myself, ‘I’m six years sober and I’m more miserable than when I was drinking, why am I sober.
For Demi, who will release her latest single I Love Me on Friday, part of the healing came from admitting that it was her own mistakes that took her down the path, and that it’s okay.
“Ultimately I made the decisions that got me to where I am today, It was my actions that put me in the position that I’m in,” she said. “I think that it’s important that I sit on this stage and say that if you go through this, you yourself can get through it you can get to the other side and it may be bumpy you are a 10/10 don’t’ forget it. As long as you take the responsibly you can move past it and learn to love yourself the way you deserve to be loved.”