Selena Gomez has been very open when it comes to her mental health. She made the difficult decision to release a documentary, Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me in 2022, which helped touch the lives of millions. Since its release, she’s been a vessel of information, sharing vulnerable stories. This week, she joined her mom, Mandy Teefey, at SXSW where they were a part of the panel Mindfulness Over Perfection: Getting Real On Mental Health with Wondermind.
© GettyImagesGomez, who recently wore a red heat to toe look, said she was “terrified” to release the documentary, and was going back and forth on whether she should do it. Once it was out, she said she said it helped release anxiety.
Looking back, she said it makes her sick to hear the things she was saying about herself. “It bums me out, but I think everybody can relate to that feeling ... it’s important to speak to yourself with kindness, but I don’t think I really understood that,” she said.
“It’s funny because all the things I was bitching about then, I’m grateful for now, so it’s really ironic. I think it has taught me a lot about myself, and it’s weird being able to see myself so long ago saying those things that I would never say to myself now,” the “Love Song” singer continued.
While Gomez , who has been dating Benny Blanco, got the help she needed, entering treatment centers three times, in 2014, 2016, and 2018, she noted that it’s not something you can force someone to do. “I will say this, you can’t force someone to do it. It’s just not, it doesn’t work. There were a lot of people that cared about me more than I cared about myself that really wanted me to do things I wasn’t ready for,” she said.
The 31-year-old artist said she had to her “rock bottom.” “I had to hit my rock bottom, and I had to do it at my time. And I took a couple of tries, but I’d like to think and hope that I’m in a much better place now,” she explained.
© GettyImagesFor Gomez, the biggest thing that has helped is therapy. “[I’m] a very deep believer in DBT, which is dialectical behavior therapy. And that’s something that I hold close to me,” she told the crowd. DBT is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy that was originally developed to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) but has been adapted to treat mood disorders, eating disorders, substance abuse, and PTSD.
One of the skills she’s learned in DBT is RAIN, “which is recognize and allow your feelings, investigate them, and then nurture yourself,” she explained. “And things like that will kind of re-pop into my head. And it’s reassuring, but sometimes I just have to let myself feel it, and let it pass.“
Want to practice RAIN? Here’s how you can try.
- Recognize: The first step is to recognize, and acknowledge the emotions, thoughts, or sensations in the moment. Use mindfulness and self-awareness to identify what is happening internally.
- Accept: Once the emotions or experiences are recognized, practice acceptance without judgment or resistance. Allow the feelings to be present without trying to suppress or avoid them.
- Investigate: After recognizing and accepting the emotions, explore them further. Investigate the underlying causes or triggers of the emotions, examining any associated beliefs or patterns and gaining insight into their nature.
- Non-Identification or Non-attachment: This step involves recognizing that emotions and thoughts are temporary experiences that do not define your identity. Instead of becoming overly attached to them, observe them with detachment and understand that they will pass.
