Paris Jackson is opening up about one of the most intense chapters of her mental health journey. While she has opened up in the past about her suicide attempts, she dove in deeper, revealing that she underwent electroconvulsive therapy as treatment.
© Getty ImagesThe 28-year-old daughter of Michael Jackson discussed her experience during Monday’s episode of Jay Shetty’s “On Purpose” podcast, explaining that the treatment became part of a long list of approaches she tried while searching for something that could help.
“I did nine sessions in three weeks,” Jackson said, recalling what she described as “getting electrocuted” after being “very, very close” to attempting suicide. “I was, like, centimeters away,” she said.
Paris said her doctor explained that ECT, which involves delivering controlled electrical stimulation to the brain while a patient is under general anesthesia, is very different from the way it is often portrayed.
“It’s not as barbaric as it used to be. They use general anesthesia. You’re knocked out when they shock you,” she recalled her doctor telling her.
© GettyThe singer went on to describe what happened before each session, including having to remove the metal piercings from her face and replacing them with plastic. “You go in, you get your hospital gown, they knock you out, strap you down, put a bite guard on your mouth [and] electrocute you.”
Jackson said she ultimately responded to the treatment, but the physical and cognitive side effects were difficult.
“The first time I woke up, and it was the sharpest pain I have ever experienced inside of my head,” she said, describing the sensation as soreness following the treatment.
She also experienced memory loss, which she identified as one of the side effects of ECT. “Friends visited me, and I don’t remember even seeing them [even though] I have evidence,” Jackson said. “I don’t remember the conversations.”
© Backgrid/The Grosby GroupDespite those difficulties, Jackson said the treatment was effective for her. “I was responding to the treatment,” she explained. “It was working.”
But the idea of continuing ECT indefinitely was not something she wanted. “Getting shocked once a month for the rest of my life is not gonna f--king work for me,” she said.
Instead, Jackson has focused on taking pieces from the different treatments and experiences she has gone through and incorporating them into her everyday life.
“If I’m not integrating the things I learn from these places and these experiences, I’m gonna resort back to how I was feeling before," she said. “Without integration, I just kept getting worse and worse."
ECT seemed like a last resort. Before turning to it, she said she had gone through what felt like a long list of different options, including medications, stays at five different institutions, CBD, dialectical behavioral therapy and EMDR.
© FilmMagicParis also tried lidocaine injections into nerves in her neck, transcranial magnetic stimulation, or TMS, which she said helped somewhat with her OCD but did not improve her depression.
Today, Paris said she has shifted her focus to “holistic health" and she has now been sober for six years.
**If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or is in crisis, help is available. In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or visit 988lifeline.org for support.**
