Britney Spears is getting candid about motherhood, faith and her complicated relationship with her parents in a lengthy new social media post.
The pop star, 44, revealed that she sometimes feels she “failed as a mother” after one of her sons told her that he doesn’t believe in God. Despite that, Spears said she remains convinced that a higher power exists and that she has personally felt its presence.
“There’s a Holy Spirit that sits high in the kingdom of heaven … I’ve been there I’ve felt it,” she wrote on X Friday.
Spears Reflects on Her Sons’ Childhood
Spears began her post by sharing what appeared to be an older photo of her sons, Sean Preston, 20, and Jayden James, 19, running along a beach.
The singer claimed she learned about five years ago that her children had been taken to the beach by her estranged parents, Jamie Spears and Lynne Spears, without her knowledge.
© FilmMagicLooking back on that period, Spears recalled feeling increasingly isolated and controlled by her father.
“The whole summer … I look back now and I remember my dad not letting me go to a diner ever again to eat a hamburger with a new extremely cool friend I had found cuz all the attention I got from the paps after being held in my home for 4 months offended him,” she wrote.
‘I Went to My Knees and Cried’
Spears said she was deeply hurt by what she described as her parents spending time with her children behind her back.
The mother of two claimed the experience left her feeling “demoralized,” adding that she “went to my knees and cried for two months.”
She also reflected on how much of her life she believes was controlled by others, saying she never truly had the opportunity to be herself.
“I never got to be me,” Spears wrote, despite describing herself as “unbelievably intelligent.”
She claimed she had been “brainwashed into an ignorant system where every goddamn person took advantage of me.”
“I firmly believe I am an angel, and it hurts,” she added. “Time is in a different realm when you’re an angel… I miss the excitement in my eves being alive.”
Spears Wants to Find Her Way Back to God
The “Toxic” singer also reminisced about the person she was before fame and the years of scrutiny that followed.
Spears said she was once “unbelievably passionate about everything” and questioned how she was allowed to endure so much of what she experienced.
“How the hell would a government allow that?” she asked.
© FilmMagicShe continued by reflecting on the public's desire for heroes and role models, writing, “As people we all want a hero or someone to look up to but we’re simply just people at the end of the day … We’re all stars in my eyes cuz I’m simply mamma now.”
By the end of her post, Spears said she wanted to share her perspective more openly after feeling misunderstood for much of her life.
“I want to get closer to God and get my heart in its most beautiful, spiritual way and have dreams again like I did when I used to go to Mexico!!!” she wrote.
Spears’ Life After Conservatorship
Spears shares her two sons with her ex-husband, Kevin Federline. Her relationship with her family has remained a major part of her story following years of legal and personal struggles.
The singer spent 13 years under a conservatorship before it was terminated by a judge in November 2021. During emotional testimony, Spears described the level of control she said her father had over her life, including allegations that she was forced to use birth control and perform against her wishes.
Since the conservatorship ended, Spears has continued to make headlines for her social media activity, including several unusual posts and videos.
Recent Legal and Rehab Issues
Spears was arrested on suspicion of DUI on March 4 and entered a rehabilitation facility the following month.
She left the facility later in April and was reportedly “doing really well” at the time.
© NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via“She’s healthy and happy and feeling very positive and excited to start afresh,” an insider previously told Page Six. “Rehab was a great opportunity for her to ground herself.”
In May, Spears accepted a “wet reckless” plea offer in court. As part of the agreement, she is expected to complete a three-month alcohol education program and serve one year of informal probation.
Now, Spears appears focused on moving forward, reconnecting with her spirituality and finding a sense of peace while reflecting on her past.
