Jennifer Lopez is entering a new chapter of her life, and according to the superstar herself, it took one of the most difficult periods she has ever faced to get there.
While appearing on the SmartLess podcast, Lopez reflected on the personal transformation that followed her 2024 divorce from Ben Affleck, describing the experience as a major turning point that forced her to take a hard look at herself and confront patterns she had carried for years.
"The past 20 years have been this one thing, the past five years have been a tumult and the last two have been kind of the healing process from that tumult, where I really got to know myself," Lopez said. "The person I am today is so different from the person I was even two years ago. It’s crazy."
The singer and actress explained that after her marriage ended, she made the difficult decision to step away from work commitments and focus entirely on her emotional well-being.
In what she described as a pivotal moment, Lopez canceled her tour and began asking herself difficult questions about the direction of her life.
© Matt Winkelmeyer"What is going on with you? Forget about everybody else. There’s nobody to blame here except yourself in a certain way. … What are you doing? What do you have going on?" she recalled asking herself.
Although Lopez did not directly name Affleck while discussing the period, she acknowledged that relationships can be complicated.
"People don’t behave in a way that’s not great," she said, joking that she might share more details with podcast hosts Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Sean Hayes "over a glass of wine."
© TheStewartofNYThe former couple famously became engaged in the early 2000s before ending their relationship in 2004. Nearly two decades later, they reunited in 2021 and married the following year. Their second chance romance ultimately came to an end in 2024 after less than two years of marriage.
Looking back, Lopez said the divorce prompted her to stop searching for answers elsewhere and instead examine her own role in recurring relationship patterns.
"Whether people outside knew it or not, I felt like my life blew up in my own face," she admitted.
© Getty ImagesThat process eventually led her to revisit earlier versions of herself and develop a deeper sense of self-compassion.
"I was able to go back to that little girl [I once was] and really look at her," Lopez said. "And just kind of going like, 'You did this. You did all of this. Give yourself a little f--king something. A little love! Stop looking for love in other things and give it to yourself.'"
Lopez also credited her sister, Lynda Lopez, for offering advice that resonated deeply during her healing journey, encouraging her to become her own "keeper."
© JOHN G. MABANGLO"These are all little pieces. I feel like the journey is little puzzle pieces that you fit in little by little as you sit there … and go, 'It’s me,'" she explained.
Today, Lopez says she feels genuinely happy and more comfortable on her own than ever before. While promoting her upcoming Netflix romantic comedy Office Romance alongside Brett Goldstein, she recently joked on Jimmy Kimmel Live! that she probably should have embraced single life sooner.
The actress has spent much of the last two years focused on personal growth, and by all accounts, she and Affleck have maintained an amicable relationship since their split. Affleck even showed support for Lopez at a movie screening late last year.
© Lionel HahnAs another major life transition approaches, Lopez is also adjusting to becoming an empty nester. Her 18-year-old twins, Max and Emme, are preparing to head off to college, a milestone she admits has been emotional.
Rather than dwelling on the changes, Lopez says she plans to channel her energy into projects that feel meaningful.
With a renewed outlook and a stronger sense of self, the entertainer is focused on what comes next, filling her schedule with what she describes as "fulfilling" and "intentional" work.
