James Van Der Beek is reflecting on a year that changed everything. The Dawson’s Creek alum, who has been undergoing treatment for stage three colon cancer, shared an emotional video on social media after celebrating his 48th birthday. In the vulnerable post, he opened up about how his battle with the disease forced him to redefine his identity and embrace a deeper sense of self-worth, saying coming “nose to nose with death” changed everything.
© GettyHe shared the video captioned, "What Cancer Taught Me," on Instagram with his 1.6 million followers, admitting that the past year “has been the hardest of my life.”
Van Der Beek has been married to his wife Kimberly since 2010, and they share six children: daughters Olivia, Annabel, Emilia, and Gwendolyn, and sons Joshua and Jeremiah. “When I was younger, I used to define myself as an actor, which was never all that fulfilling,” he said, adding, “Then I became a husband, and it was much better. And then I became a father, and that was the ultimate.” But when cancer entered the picture, all those roles were stripped away.
© GettyVan Der Beek's cancer was discovered after undergoing a colonoscopy in August 2023, and he revealed his diagnosis in November 2024.
Van Der Beek explained how being away from his family for treatment and living alone in an apartment forced him to face his own mortality in a new way. “I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who was helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids, put them to bed, and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn’t working.”
In that solitude, he was confronted with a painful question, "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment with cancer, what am I?"
As the actor moves through a "healing portal toward recovery," he opened up about his relationship with God. “I am worthy of God’s love simply because I exist. And if I’m worthy of God’s love, shouldn’t I also be worthy of my own?” he said.
While he acknowledged that everyone has different beliefs, he encouraged those watching to embrace the same lesson in whatever way resonates with them. “I certainly don’t claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me,” he admitted. “But, if it’s a trigger that feels too religious, you can take the word God out in your mind, and it can simply be, ‘I am worthy of love.’ Because you are.”
