For Rory Feek, it’s been one month since life threw a curve ball at him and took his beloved wife Joey Feek away. In a new blog post, the 49-year-old opened up about how he his coping without his “best friend."
"A lot of people ask me how I’m doing. I usually try to smile and say, 'I’m doing okay.' And I am… okay,” he penned on Monday. "It’s hard to believe that it’s been a month already since Joey left this world and made her journey to the next. In some ways it feels like only yesterday, and in others… it feels like forever.”
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Back home in Tennessee with his daughter Indiana, the country singer admitted that he has “a lot of good people around” him who “pour love all over” him and his little girl. While the couple’s two-year-old daughter is still adjusting to being home, she is "loving her new school more everyday," her father revealed.
With Joey's passing and Indiana “learning to talk” and “how to use her legs,” Rory admitted he feels several emotions all at once including: "Blessed. Lost. Proud. Scared. Encouraged. Tired. Thankful."
Since losing his wife last month, the dad-of-three revealed that he has been unable to sleep on his side of the bed. He shared, "I moved our bed to a different part of the room, against a different wall… because I needed it to be different. I sleep on her side of the bed now. I can’t sleep on mine. And when people come to dinner and they sit in Joey’s chair, I want to tell them not to sit there, but I don’t. But I want to.”
Rory continued, "I miss my wife… I miss my best friend. I miss her voice and her laugh and her eyes and her smile. It’s still hard for me to imagine that she’s not here, and she’s not ever coming back. But I know that time will make it easier. Because that’s what time does. It heals what is broken. There will still be scars, but I know there will come a day when I won’t miss her this much, when I won’t wonder where she is.”
The loving husband continues to visit his wife’s grave everyday, similar to Tom Hank’s iconic 1994 character, Forrest Gump. "I make the walk out to the cemetery behind the house everyday and stand over the loose dirt and I talk to her. Like Forrest Gump talked to Jenny under the big tree that they played in as children. Forrest loved Jenny like I love Joey. Simply. Deeply,” he wrote.
Rory's own heartbreak has allowed him to sympathize with one of his favorite movie characters. "God sent me my own Jenny. And we got married and it was beautiful, just like the movie. But then Jenny got sick. And Forrest didn’t understand why. And Jenny helped him through it as he stayed by her bedside," he stated. "And the Jenny left him little Forrest so he wouldn’t have to be alone. And he stood alone beside a stone beneath a tree and he talked to Jenny. And he told her all about little Forrest and his school and how smart he is and how she would be so proud of him.”
"And then the movie ended so I don’t know what happened after that. But I believe that Forrest was okay. And though his love for Jenny never faded, the pain of losing her lessoned. In Time. All in God’s time,” he added. "I miss you Joey. You would be so proud of our little Indiana."
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The late country star was honored on the eve of her one-month anniversary at the American Country Music Awards. Joey received a standing ovation from the star-studded crowd, which included Carrie Underwood, Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban and more.
Country artists Martina McBride and Darius Rucker, remembered the 40-year-old saying, "A few weeks ago, we lost a member of our country music family with the passing of Joey Feek," Darius said. His fellow presenter said, "Joey was more than a wonderful singer and an ACM-winning artist with her husband, Rory. She was a beloved mom, daughter, family member and friend."
Darius added, "Of all of the different ways we could honor Joey, what would mean the most to Joey and her family is just for one more time, for all of her fans and all of us who love her to give her a big round of applause."