Meghan Markle has opened up about the heartbreaking loss she suffered over the summer. In an opinion piece for the New York Times titled “The Losses We Share,” the Duchess of Sussex, 39, revealed that she was pregnant with her and Prince Harry’s second child, but had a miscarriage in July. “After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right,” she wrote. “I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.”
“Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal,” she continued.
Meghan went on to recall her and Harry’s 2019 royal tour of South Africa during which an interviewer asked if she was “okay.” The Duchess wrote, “I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many — new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering. My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn’t responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself. ‘Thank you for asking,’ I said. ‘Not many people have asked if I’m OK.’ Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, ‘Are you OK?’”
“Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few. In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning,” the Suits alum added. “Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same. We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing.”
Archie Harrison’s mom noted that “loss and pain have plagued every one of us in 2020.” Meghan encouraged readers to commit to asking others “Are you OK?” this Thanksgiving. “As much as we may disagree, as physically distanced as we may be, the truth is that we are more connected than ever because of all we have individually and collectively endured this year,” she wrote. “We are adjusting to a new normal where faces are concealed by masks, but it’s forcing us to look into one another’s eyes — sometimes filled with warmth, other times with tears. For the first time, in a long time, as human beings, we are really seeing one another.”
According to HOLA! USA’s sister brand HELLO!, a Buckingham Palace spokesperson would not comment on Meghan’s miscarriage saying “it’s a deeply personal matter.” However, a source said there is “understandable sadness” in the royal family over the couple’s loss. Meghan and Harry welcomed their first child, son Archie, in 2019. The Duchess of Sussex isn't the only member of the British royal family who has suffered a miscarriage. Queen Elizabeth’s daughter-in-law Sophie, Countess of Wessex and granddaughter Zara Phillips have also experienced pregnancy loss.