Lady Gaga is opening up about one of the most challenging periods of her life. The singer and actress has often opened up about her struggles with mental health, sharing candid responses about her work and the toll it takes on her mind.
In a profile with Rolling Stone, Gaga explored the topic thoroughly, describing one of the busiest and toughest periods of her life, where she experienced a psychotic break. Her health crisis began in 2017, when her work kept her incredibly busy, including working on the film "A Star Is Born" and going on a worldwide tour for her record "Joanne."
“I did A Star Is Born on lithium,” she said, revealing that she experienced a psychotic break when she wrapped production on the movie. “There was one day that my sister said to me, ‘I don’t see my sister anymore,’" she said.
“And I canceled the tour. There was one day I went to the hospital for psychiatric care. I needed to take a break. I couldn’t do anything… I completely crashed. It was really scary. There was a time where I didn’t think I could get better.… I feel really lucky to be alive. I know that might sound dramatic, but we know how this can go.”
Gaga shares that her mental health is in a better place and that her fiancé, Michael Polansky, has helped her get to the point where she is now. “Being in love with someone that cares about the real me made a very big difference,” she said, even though the process forced her to face herself. “How do you learn how to be yourself with someone when you don’t know how to be yourself with anyone?”
Gaga reflects on how much she's changed over the years
Gaga has been making music for decades, with her relationship to her music and her work shifting. She's been touring her show "Mayhem" for the past few months, with it turning into one of her most spirited shows ever, filled with complex choreographies and a revisit of some of her biggest songs. Still, she feels the difference when she's onstage, with a feeling of panic affecting her at the start of each show.
“I’m not an adrenaline junkie anymore,” she said. “ I used to love that feeling.”
She describes what she sees and how the show affects her, at least throughout its opening minutes. “I see all the fans and I’m in this big dress, and the music is so loud and it’s very dramatic… and for 90 seconds, I have to talk myself out of a panic attack.” Gaga says that the feeling remains for the first two songs of her show, with her relaxing once her training and conditioning kicks in.