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satirical piece

Orlando Bloom reacted to reports of him 'spotted on a romantic dinner date'

Bloom's fans are loving this playful, self-deprecating version of the actor


Shirley Gomez
Senior Writer
AUGUST 4, 2025 10:20 AM EDT

Orlando Bloom reminded everyone he has a killer sense of humor and is not afraid to join in on the fun. When The Onion posted a wildly fake, hilarious article claiming the "Pirates of the Caribbean" star was spotted on a romantic dinner date with no other than former German Chancellor Angela Merkel, most people laughed. But Orlando Bloom clapped. 

The satirical piece, which hit Instagram on August 1, teased: "Just weeks after announcing his split with fiancée Katy Perry, English actor Orlando Bloom was photographed Friday dining with former German Chancellor Angela Merkel. 'Angela kept Orlando laughing all night—he couldn't keep his eyes off her!' said an insider who spotted the pair sipping wine, slurping oysters, and splitting a decadent piece of chocolate layer cake at a Michelin-starred restaurant."

Orlando Bloom claps back at the Internet with a wink and a whole lot of self-awareness© The Onion
Orlando Bloom claps back at the Internet with a wink and a whole lot of self-awareness

To cap it off, the post was paired with a hilarious AI-generated image of the duo in an upscale, candlelit setting. And Bloom was all in, dropping a row of clapping emojis in the comments like a self-aware and unbothered man.

 Orlando Bloom, wearing Ralph Lauren, attends day fourteen of the Wimbledon Tennis Championships at the All England Trennis and Croquet Club at on July 13, 2025 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/Getty Images for Ralph Lauren)© Getty Images for Ralph Lauren
Orlando Bloom, wearing Ralph Lauren, attends day fourteen of the Wimbledon Tennis Championships at the All England Trennis and Croquet Club at on July 13, 2025 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/Getty Images for Ralph Lauren)

A Satire-Wrapped Nod to a Real-Life Plot Twist

Of course, The Onion isn't working in a vacuum. Their spoof is a cheeky nod to the real-world media buzz surrounding Bloom's ex, Katy Perry, and her rumored connection with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. The pair were recently spotted dining together at Montreal's Le Violon restaurant, just a few weeks after Perry and Bloom confirmed their split.

In case you missed the headlines, Bloom and Perry—who share 4-year-old daughter Daisy Dove—ended their engagement earlier this summer after months of speculation. "Representatives have confirmed that Orlando and Katy have been shifting their relationship over the past many months to focus on co-parenting," a joint statement to E! News read in early July. "They will continue to be seen together as a family, as their shared priority is—and always will be—raising their daughter with love, stability, and mutual respect."

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom have reportedly ended their relationship© Neilson Barnard
Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom have ended their relationship

So while Perry's presence alongside Trudeau raised more than a few eyebrows, Bloom's reaction to the meme-worthy Merkel date shows he's choosing humor and maybe even a touch of Zen.

From Pirate Swords to Peace Signs

In the weeks following the breakup news, he's been sharing some decidedly philosophical messages across social media. And no, they're not cryptic subtweets, they're more like motivational reminders.

One quote he shared from Buddha read: "Each day is a new beginning. What we do today is what matters most." He followed it with another quote, this time from Buddhist thinker Daisaku Ikeda: "The important thing is to take that first step. Bravely overcoming one small fear gives you the courage to take on the next day."

Orlando Bloom, wearing Ralph Lauren, attends day fourteen of the Wimbledon Tennis Championships at the All England Trennis and Croquet Club at on July 13, 2025 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/Getty Images for Ralph Lauren)© Getty Images for Ralph Lauren
Orlando Bloom, wearing Ralph Lauren, attends day fourteen of the Wimbledon Tennis Championships at the All England Trennis and Croquet Club at on July 13, 2025 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/Getty Images for Ralph Lauren)

Whether he's getting fake-dating tips from The Onion or embracing the calm post-storm, Orlando Bloom seems to be living proof that breakups don't have to be messy, and that a well-placed emoji can speak volumes.

He's continued posting snippets from his life, focusing on fatherhood, mindfulness, and occasional behind-the-scenes teases from upcoming projects. And while Katy and Justin are still the subject of whispers and long-lens dinner pics, Bloom's fans are loving this playful, self-deprecating version of the actor.

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