Paulina Porizkova shared a personal message of grief on Instagram. The model, actress and writer has been facing a particularly tough couple of years, marked by breakups and grief.

She took to Instagram to post a crying selfie, sharing with her followers her feelings of betrayal and recovery, and how that path is not always a happy one.

“I know you all enjoy happy posts, seeing people pick themselves up, dust off their pants and get back on the horse, all while smiling to let you know this fall just made them stronger and better people. But. Everyday is not a happy day in the path of recovery,” she wrote candidly. “Trust after being betrayed seems as far fetched as being shot into space. Correction. It’s easier to see myself shot into space at this moment. When you’ve been betrayed- promised something, only to have that promise broken without your participation - you were blindsided. You trusted someone you loved, and now all love is suspect.”

While she didn’t name names, Porizkova recently broke up with director and writer Aaron Sorkin after publicly dating for three months. Then there’s also the death of her estranged husband, Ric Ocasek, singer of the band The Cars, who unexpectedly passed away in 2019. The singer had cut Ocasek out of his will right before his death, claiming that Porizkova had “abandoned him.” This whole chain of events resulted in Porizkova having to rely on her friends to pay for groceries and cover her expenses.

“I got two mortgaged houses and the pension, but no way to pay for anything,” she said in a conversation with UBS Global Wealth Management. “So obviously things had to be sold, but until they got sold, I had nothing to live on. I literally went through a year of asking my friends to buy us groceries. It was not a good position to be in.”

Porizkova and Ocasek met in the set of the iconic music video of the song “Drive.” She was 19 and he was in his 40s, and they agreed not to sign a prenup before getting married. “I had this sort of idea that he knew everything about the world and his word was the word of God and I should just sort of listen to what he said because, obviously, he had the wisdom of living that I hadn’t had,” she said. “And he reminded of that every of often, that he knows better because he’s older.”

She concluded her post in a more positive note. “But love is not possible without trust. And a world without love is not worth living. (All kinds of love),” she wrote. “For you who’d like to point out a crying selfie is the height of narcissism, I whole-heartedly agree!”