Barack Obama may have left the Oval Office in 2017, but the former president admits that the real work began once he returned home — repairing the strain public life put on his marriage with Michelle Obama.
Speaking at the O2 Arena in London this week, Obama got candid with historian David Olusoga about how his wife’s patience was tested during his two terms as president. “I was digging myself out of the hole I found myself with Michelle,” Obama joked to the crowd, acknowledging the toll politics had taken on their relationship. “Now I’m at about level ground.”
Life After Washington
The Obamas’ marriage, which has often been held up as a picture of modern love and partnership, faced challenges in the aftermath of eight grueling years in the White House. In April, Obama admitted in a conversation with Hamilton College president Steven Tepper that he had been in “a deep deficit” with Michelle.
“So I have been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things,” he said, explaining that simple acts of joy and shared experiences helped him reconnect with his wife.
By May 2023, he reflected that stepping away from the presidency gave him the chance to “have a little more time with her,” emphasizing that their relationship is now grounded in intentional time together.
Rumors of Trouble in Paradise
Despite their candidness, the couple hasn’t been immune to speculation. In early 2017, when Michelle kept a low profile during Donald Trump’s inauguration and even skipped the funeral of President Jimmy Carter, whispers began that all wasn’t well. Barack attended both events alone, fueling gossip that their marriage might be in crisis.
At the time, reports surfaced that Michelle had taken an extended break in Hawaii, distancing herself from the political spotlight. Some interpreted this as a sign of marital trouble, but both Obamas have since addressed — and dismissed — the rumors.
Barack doubled down on his affection by posting heartfelt tributes to Michelle, including a sweet birthday message calling her the “love of my life” and a Valentine’s selfie. Michelle, for her part, clarified on Sophia Bush’s "Work in Progress" podcast that her choices were about self-care, not separation.
“That’s the thing that we as women struggle with — disappointing people,” she said. “So much so that people, they couldn’t even fathom that I was making a choice for myself, that they had to assume that my husband and I are divorcing.”
A Love Story with Staying Power
Barack and Michelle’s journey together began in 1989 at a Chicago law firm, where Michelle was assigned as Barack’s mentor. Three years later, they married, and over the decades, they’ve built a family rooted in love and resilience. Together, they raised daughters Malia, now 27, and Sasha, 24, while navigating the highs and lows of public life.
Their willingness to talk openly about struggles makes their love story more relatable. Far from being flawless, the Obamas’ marriage has endured the unique stress of global scrutiny, proving that even the most admired couples must work hard to nurture their bond.