While the world was intrigued by the fairytale engagement of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer in February 1981, one family member quietly saw through the glamour. Diana’s maternal grandmother, Ruth Roche, Baroness Fermoy, was the dissenting voice in a chorus of excitement surrounding the royal wedding.
Speaking on The Daily Mail’s podcast “Queens, Kings, and Dastardly Things,” royal biographers Robert Hardman and Kate Williams explained that the Baroness tried to caution Diana against the marriage.
Williams described her as “a dissenting voice” who “saw beyond the fairytale.” Baroness Fermoy was no stranger to royal life. As a close confidante of Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, she understood the inner workings of the monarchy better than most.
Rumors once suggested she had orchestrated Diana’s introduction to Charles, though she denied these claims to the Associated Press in 1993. “You can say that if you like, but it simply wouldn't be true.” Despite her public support for the engagement, she privately warned Diana that the royal lifestyle might not suit her.
“She said to Diana, ‘I don’t think their sense of humor or lifestyle is going to suit you,’” Williams recalled. “But everyone else was so swept up in the idea of marriage.”
Diana was just 19 when she accepted the proposal of 32-year-old Charles, and she turned 20 only weeks before their July 29, 1981 wedding. To the public, she seemed to fit seamlessly into the royal family.
Hardman noted her charm during a visit to Balmoral, the Queen’s Scottish estate. “They think she’s got a great spirit, a lovely smile. Crucially, she’s not fazed. At Balmoral, when they all go stomping up a hill, or it’s pouring with rain, or it’s time to go stalking, or to have a family barbecue—she just takes it all in stride.”
Diana’s ease with the royals was partly thanks to her grandmother’s guidance. “She had childhood friendships with [then-Prince] Andrew and [Prince] Edward,” Hardman added. By the time Diana left Balmoral, the family reportedly thought, “Well, you know that girl, she could be the one."
But behind closed doors, Diana struggled. She confided in her older sisters, Lady Sarah and Lady Jane, that she was hesitant about the marriage.
Their reply, invoking her childhood nickname, was blunt. “Bad luck, Dutch, your face is on the tea towels. You can’t go back.” Williams explained that Diana later described feeling “like a lamb to the slaughter.” She also battled an eating disorder during the engagement, further evidence of her inner turmoil.
Despite her grandmother’s cautionary advice, Diana went through with the wedding. Charles and Diana’s marriage was fraught with difficulties, leading to their separation in 1992 and divorce in 1996, one year before Diana’s death.
By the time the Baroness passed away in July 1993, she and her granddaughter were reportedly estranged due to the Baroness siding with the royal family in private criticisms.