Vanessa Bryant is opening up about her grief almost one year after tragically losing her husband Kobe Bryant and daughter Gianna . The 38-year-old mom filled her Instagram Stories with candid words on Friday, January 15, providing a comforting mini essay for those experiencing grief. “Grief is a messed up cluster of emotions,” she accurately began. “One day you‘re in the moment laughing and the next day you don’t feel like being alive.”

“I want to say this for people struggling with grief and heartbreaking loss,” Vanessa prefaced. “Find your reason to live. I know it‘s hard.” The mom-of-four shared that her reason for living is her children. ”I look at my daughters and I try to push through that feeling for them,” she wrote. Her daughter’s Natalia , 17, Bianka, four, and Capri, one, are what keep her going.

Vanessa concluded the note by reminding everyone that “death is guaranteed but living the rest of the day isn’t.” She urged those reading to “find your reason” for living.

Vanessa has clearly been doing her best to keep her children smiling in this horrible time. She recently took the girls on a post-holiday ski trip with her famous friend Ciara , who brought her own children Future, six, and Sienna, three.

Kobe, 41, and Gianna, 13, passed away on January 26, 2020 in a helicopter accident. They were on their way to a basketball tournament along with seven other people, who sadly lost their lives.

In August, Vanessa shared a heart-wrenching tribute to Kobe on what would have marked his 42nd birthday. “I miss your big hugs, your kisses, your smile, your loud ass deep laugh. I miss teasing you, making you laugh and bursting your bubble. I miss you sitting on my lap like my big baby that you are. I think about your tenderness and patience all the time.”